


Burning Low

by then00breturns1101



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Asha is the name of skateboard girl, Dadster, Fuku is Louise, GOOD AND BAD ENDING, Grief/Mourning, Grillby is Fuku's dad, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort, Lots of Angst, Minor Character Death, Multi, Parental Issues, Suicide, There will be a lot to come, have fun, more tags to be added later, she changes her name later, the rating might go up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9504440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/then00breturns1101/pseuds/then00breturns1101
Summary: 'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low.Only miss the sun when it starts to snow.Only know you love her when you let her go...And you let her go.Family is lost, tensions rise, and everything is falling apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with the idea for this while chatting with my gf and decided to make it into a fic because why not?

            _“Ember, please, hold on! Help is on the way!”_

_“Mom, please, you can’t die, please…”_

_…_

_“Mom? Mom! Mom, no, no this can’t be happening!”_

_“Mom…?”_

_“DAD! Dad, mom, she’s-”_

_“_ EMBER! _”_

* * *

 

 

            That was a year ago. Mom got sick after touching a toxic plant in Waterfall. She shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but she always thought it was beautiful… even though it could kill her.

            That’s what ended up happening. One of the plants she was looking at had poisonous sap, and she picked it, and the stuff got on her. We all thought it was fine.

            Three days later, she was dust. Dad and I sprinkled her through Waterfall, with the help of people who could go there. After all, it was one of the places she loved the most.

            Dad… didn’t take her death very well. He didn’t leave the house for a week, but neither did I. We both almost cried ourselves to ashes then, but he was closer to actually getting there.

            If I hadn’t helped him, I would have lost both parents in one week. But we got through it together. His friend, Gaster, helped too, but he couldn’t do much. He was busy as the Royal Scientist, and he had his own kids to take care of.

So, for the next year, it was just Dad and I, living together in our little house in Snowdin…

            Until I moved to Hotland.

            Well, I left.

            Dad… he wasn’t dealing well with any of it. His temper grew short, and he was overprotective and stifling. I know it was because he didn’t want to lose me, too, but… I couldn’t stand it! He was always telling me what not to do, where I couldn’t go- he was trying to tell me who to _be!_

            I started dating a girl from Hotland. Asha. Dad thought she was a bad influence, and he didn’t want me going through Waterfall to go see her. I _tried_ to explain that she was fine, she was just different and I loved her for it, but he practically forbade me from seeing her.

            I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand _him._

 

            “Asha, what do I do? He won’t listen, he-” Asha interrupted me by kissing me on the cheek.

            “Hey, Louise, listen. We can figure this out,” she said gently. “If you want, you can move in with me, my parents are never home, anyways.” I was doubtful.

            “I can’t just leave, he…” I looked down. He’d be really upset, wouldn’t he?

            “Hey, it’ll be okay, sweetie. It’s your decision, I can’t make it for you, and neither can your dad,” she reassured as she took my hand. “Just know you’re welcome with me.”

 

            I remembered those words as Dad and I were having another fight. I’d had my bags packed for days, knowing that I had an out. He’d found them in my room and now we were arguing… again.

            “Louise Brook Flamesman!” he shouted from the second floor. I was in the kitchen, doing homework. Dad didn’t have much of a voice most of the time, but boy could he yell.

            “What?!” I shouted back. I didn’t have time for this shit.

            “Come upstairs right this second, young lady!” Oh for fuck’s sake. What _now_? I walked upstairs, grumbling. He was in my room, and he looked furious. Crap.

            “What, may I ask, is _this??_ ” he demanded, pointing to an open duffel bag on the floor, full of clothes and important stuff for, well, running away. Fuck. He’d found it, he knew.

            “None of your business!” I retorted, stepping between it and him. “What were you doing snooping around _my_ room, anyways?”

            “It’s such a mess all the time I thought I’d clean up a bit, but I found a bag full of clothes, supplies, and almost all your belongings! What’s going on?” I floundered to come up with an excuse.

            “Why should I tell _you?_ ” I spat. “Since when have you cared what I do, besides to boss me around?”

            “It’s for your own good, Louise! I’m trying to protect you!” I could hear his voice break a bit. I knew he didn’t want to lose me, but…

            “Well maybe I don’t want you to protect me anymore!”

            With that, I grabbed my bag and ran out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the house. Once I was a good distance away, I stopped to close the bag, and got my bearings. I was at the western edge of the town- the riverperson! I’d ask them for a ride.

            I called them over and got to Hotland. As I stepped off the boat, my phone rang. It was my dad. I hung up on him and walked to Asha’s house.

 

            “Louise!” she exclaimed when she saw me at her door. “What are you doing here?” I put my bag down and hugged her.

            “My dad and I had another fight, and… I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to stay with you.” Asha grinned, then ushered me inside.

            “Well, it sucks that things didn’t work out with your dad, but at least we can be together here.” She leaned forward and kissed me lightly, blushing. I smiled. I didn’t regret anything at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The saga continues!  
> TW for suicide in this chapter, but that's in the tags already!

            Two months passed since I left Snowdin. I cut all contacts with my dad. He didn't know where I was, but honestly, I kinda liked it that way. We hadn’t talked in months and I felt so free!

            I was still dating Asha, and we were really happy together. I changed my name, too- now it’s Fuku Fire. It fit a whole lot better than _Louise_. Ugh.

            I was still in school, of course. I switched from Snowdin Secondary to Hotland High without my dad knowing, so if I left, I wouldn’t have to transfer.

            My new life was off to a great start.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Hey, hot stuff,” chuckled Asha as she walked into the room, still in pajamas. I was on the couch, watching the morning news. She sat down next to me and we absentmindedly watched together. Suddenly, we heard the normally calm and cheerful voice of the news anchor grow grim.

            “The following message may not be appropriate for young children,” he began, clearing his throat. “It would seem that the Royal Scientist, doctor W. D. Gaster, has…” he paused, looking down. “Committed suicide.”

            Asha and I froze. The anchor continued.

            “No explicit note was found, but evidence points to this as the cause of his sudden disappearance. He is theorized to have jumped into the Core, his own creation.” It looked like it was painful to be reporting this. “He has left behind… two children. Sans, aged 15, and Papyrus, aged 9. They will be cared for in their father’s absence. It is a sad day today, where we lose a beloved life.”

            I turned off the TV. The room was silent.

            “Fuku, you alright...?” asked Asha. She was quieter than usual.

            “Y-yeah, I just…” I frowned. Gaster… “it’s just… he- Gaster, I mean- and my dad were really close friends. He’d be pretty upset to learn that this… that he killed himself.” Asha didn’t reply for a moment.

            “I understand, anyone would be,” she reassured.

            “Yeah, but…” I remembered how he was after Mom died. Black, ashy streaks on his face, bags under his eyes, barely eating, barely sleeping, so dim and cold it felt like he was dead… “He… he really doesn’t deal well with loss. He was crushed when Mom died.”

            Asha was thoughtful. She frowned, trying to come up with what to say, and then said it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's she gonna say?????
> 
> note: this story has TWO ENDINGS!! a good one, and a bad one!  
> chapter 3 will be the bad ending, and chapter 4 the good! i'll publish both chapters at the same time!
> 
> also sorry for such a short chapter ;;


	3. Good Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO! i said this would have two endings and here's the good one! bad one is chapter 4, i released them both at the same time. this is a happy ending, with some nice angst and fluff enjoy!

            “Maybe you should talk to him,” she told me. I was surprised. She was the one who convinced me to leave, after all.

            “You think so?” I questioned. It would be awkward coming to see him after so long.

            “Well, that’s my take on it,” she went on. “Your dad doesn’t cope well with loss, according to you. He almost dusted after your mom died, and then you left. I’m gonna be blunt, that probably wasn’t easy for him.” I looked down, slightly ashamed.

            “Hey, don’t blame yourself. I gave you the idea,” she reassured. “Anyways, then his best friend not only dies, but commits suicide. That’s a hell of a punch to the gut. More like a stab, actually.”

            “Yeah… I didn’t know Gaster much, but if someone that close to me killed themselves… it would be awful.”

            I had to think about this for a while, but I knew time was a factor. I didn’t want to be too late.

            After a few minutes of careful thinking, I made up my mind.

            “Asha, I’m going back to Snowdin,” I concluded. She smiled a bit.

            “I’m coming with you,” she said. I nodded and we both started packing our things.

 

* * *

 

 

            Just half an hour later, we were both in Snowdin.

            “Holy shit, it’s _freezing!_ How do you- oh, right,” Asha laughed, remembering that I was literally made of fire.

            “Yeah, the cold isn’t a big deal for me. Come on, I think he still lives in the same place.

            We walked up to the restaurant, bar, and diner known as Grillby’s, only to find that it was closed.

            “That’s bad,” I said worriedly. “He never closes shop during the day… except when Mom…” shit. He was not okay. I went around back and dug my key out of my pocket. I had kept it, just in case… good thing I did.

            The door swung open and Asha and I walked in. It was eerily silent. Again, not a good sign. However, I could just barely hear a faint noise from upstairs.

            “Asha, wait down here. I think he’s in his room,” I whispered. As she sat down at the dining room table, I quietly made my way up the stairs and into the hall. There was definitely noise coming from Dad’s room. It sounded like… crying. Shit…

            As I stood in front of the door, I realized that I had absolutely no idea what to do. Do I just walk in? What do I say? What would _he_ say? Would he be angry? Upset? Maybe he’d kick me out, maybe he’d-

            Oh, fuck it. Fuck it all, I’d deal with that if and when it happened. For now, I just…

            I just had to go inside.

            I opened the bedroom door with shaking hands, and I saw him there.

            He was curled up in the corner, head on his knees and sobbing. I could hear the faint hiss of tears evaporating, and smoke was rising from his face. The flame on his head was dim and a dark reddish color.

            It hurt just looking at him. This was what he was like when Mom died. Suddenly, I felt just like I did then… sad, scared, and grieving.

            “Dad…” I whispered. My voice was fainter than usual. Still, he heard me, and raised his head. He had the telltale sooty black streaks on his face indicating he’d been crying heavily. He looked surprised to see me.

            “L-Louise…?” he rasped. His voice was weaker than ever, and tinged with disbelief, like he couldn’t bring himself to think for a moment that I’d possibly come back. It was almost painful to hear. I walked over and kneeled down near him.

            “Hey, dad,” I said again, and hugged him for the first time in months. He jolted, startled, but hugged me back, too. I could feel him shaking.

            “I’m s-so sorry…” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry f-for being a horrible f-father, and for m-making you leave, I-”

            “Dad, it’s okay,” I interrupted. “It’s okay. I love you.”

            “I love you too, Louise.”

            We both pulled back and he wiped his face. I rubbed my arm a bit awkwardly.

            “Actually, dad, I go by Fuku now,” I said. He smiled a bit.

            “Fuku, huh? That sounds like a nice name,” he replied. The room went silent again.

            “You know, L- er, Fuku, I’ve had… a lot of time to think, and…” he began, looking down. “I really was not the best father after Ember died. I wasn’t myself. I was so scared of losing you that I became overprotective and controlling, and you resented me for it. I understand.” He paused, but I started talking.

            “I forgive you, dad,” I told him. “I wasn’t myself, either. I was angry, bitter… I know that me leaving must have hurt you.” He nodded almost imperceptibly.

            “Ironic, isn’t it?” he chuckled hollowly. “I didn’t want to lose you, but in the way I acted… that’s exactly what happened.”

            It was silent again, and then he tried making small talk. I went along with it. He asked me about Asha, and where I had been living, if I’d still been going to school, and what my friends were like. I asked how the bar was doing, if the dogs were still coming to eat, and what the funniest times were. However, there was still an underlying grimness. I knew I had to address the elephant in the room.

            “By the way, dad… I’m sorry.”

            “About what?” he acted confused, but I could tell he knew what- or who, rather- I was talking about.

            “Gaster,” I said. “I… I know you were close friends, and… it must have been a real shock to lose him like that.” He went quiet again.

            “Was it something I did wrong…?” he whispered, more to himself than to me. I didn’t know how to fix this. I really didn’t know how to help. Ember’s death had been an accident, but this… this was different.

            “Dad, it’s okay, it… it wasn’t your fault,” I told him. I knew he was blaming himself for all of this. He always did that. I hugged him again, but he wasn’t as responsive as before.

            “It’s going to be alright. I…” I pulled back and looked at him. “I’m coming back to live here again.”

            It took him a second to register what I’d said, but once he did, he hugged me tightly again. We stayed like that for a while, and I could feel stinging down my cheek as I started crying, too. Happy as I was living with Asha, I’d missed him, too.

            But now, I was back, and maybe we could make things between us alright again…

           

* * *

 

 

            As it turns out, we did.

            I moved back in, and dad helped me organize my room in a new way. I was still enrolled in Hotland High, so the trip there would be a drag, but I could see Asha at school!

            She got to know dad and they got along fairly well. He still had his off days, where he’d see something that reminded him of Gaster and break down, and we’d help him back on his feet.

            I knew it wouldn’t be easy. He never could really get over his death, but he did what he could…

            And that, apparently, including adopting Papyrus and Sans!

            They hadn’t been able to find a family to care for them, so dad decided to take them in. He said it would help him focus on Gaster’s life, instead of his death. I got along pretty well with Sans as an adoptive brother, and we became fast friends. Papyrus was fun, if a bit loud. But I was glad we were all together.

            Dad, Sans, Papyrus, Asha and I.

            It was an odd sort of family, and it had come a long way, but I still loved everyone in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there! wasn't that nice? now, dear reader, you have the choice: you can leave the story there, nice and happy, OR you could go on, and see what would happen if it all went wrong....


	4. Bad Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAD ENDING! if you didn't like chapter 2's angst, you will not enjoy this one. if you are like me and thrive off of angst, have a nice read :)

            “I’m not sure you should go back,” she said. “I mean, he acted pretty shitty. He’ll probably get over this, just give him some time.” I looked down.

            “Maybe you’re right…” I considered. He was pretty tough, after all… he could get through this, right?

            “It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Asha reassured me.

            I hoped she was right.

 

            A couple days later, the worry had really been starting to eat at me. I couldn’t sleep, my grades were slipping, and I’d lost my appetite.

            “I’m just scared…” I lamented to Asha over dinner. “What if he really isn’t alright?” She frowned, clearly seeing how much this was affecting me.

            “Maybe you should call him,” she suggested. “Just to check in, see if he’s okay.”

            “Yeah… yeah, I’ll do that.” I took out my phone and dialed his number. He wasn’t in my contacts anymore, but I had memorized his cell. It started ringing. I waited for someone to pick up, but…

            “Nobody,” I whispered. The pit of worry in my soul deepened. Asha walked over and hugged me.

            “I’m sure he’s alright. These are probably work hours, right? He’s probably busy,” she reassured, but I could hear that she was nervous.

            “Yeah… I hope.”

 

* * *

 

 

            _A man walks through Waterfall. It’s dangerous, and he knows it. After all, he is made entirely of fire._

_The flame on his head is flickering, growing dimmer thanks to the humidity. There are black, ashy marks on his face. His mouth is upturned in a sad grin._

_“I’m sorry…” he whispers to no one. “I’m so sorry…”_

_“Ember, I should have done better. I could have warned you, we could have helped you… my negligence killed you,” he continues, tears hissing on his face._

_“Gaster…” the man begins to sob. “I’m so sorry, Gaster. I should have been there for you. I should have known; I should have helped. You were in so much pain and I was blind to it all, blinded by my own clouded emotions...”_

_“You didn’t deserve to die. You didn’t deserve to disappear this way. There are so many people who love you. Your sons, your colleagues… me. But… I guess you’ll never know now, right?” he laughs humorlessly. “As for me…”_

_“There really is nobody left, is there? My wife is dead, my daughter hates me… and you’re gone._

_“What’s the point anymore?”_

_He sighs, walking up to a pond of glowing blue water._

_“I don’t suppose anyone will miss me.”_

_The man takes a step into the water and there’s a loud hissing sound. He whimpers at the pain, before diving in._

_There is a loud hiss, then silence. His figure crumbles, leaving behind only his clothes and the dust, tainting the water._

_In the darkness, a shadowed figure weeps._

* * *

 

 

            I was watching the news again, absentmindedly checking my Undernet page. Asha was curled up next to me. Suddenly, the anchor went grave again.

            “I… I am sorry that I have to report news of this type again,” he began, looking and sounding very sad. I went cold with dread.

            “There have been clothes found in Waterfall, with traces of dust in the water. The Guard is suspecting another… another suicide.” He bowed his head. Asha’s hand found mine and squeezed it.

            “The dust has been traced back to the Snowdin restaurant owner and barkeep,” I started shaking. No. No, there have to be more restaurants in Snowdin, right? It can’t be-

            “Grillby Flamesman.”

 

            My world came crashing down around me.

            He was dead.

            My father was dead.

            Dad was… _dead…_

            I could feel stinging on my face. I was crying. I was vaguely aware of a voice saying my name, I could feel hands on mine-

            “ _Fuku!”_ Asha yelled. I snapped out of my daze and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and brimming with tears as she wiped mine away. She looked like she was going to say something, but kept her mouth shut. She was shaking. So was I.

            “He… it c-can’t be…” I breathed. I was still trying to hold back more tears, but it couldn’t last for long. I tried to talk again, but I only ended up being able to say one word.

            “ _Dad…”_ I croaked, and then the dam broke. I wrapped my arms around Asha and began sobbing into her shoulder, ignoring the hissing from the tears. Everything hurt. Everything.

            I tried to talk, but just ended up crying louder as Asha held me tightly. I could hear her in tears as well.

            I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. It seemed so impossible, like… like it was something that could only happen to someone else, but… it happened to me.

            My dad was dead, and he’d committed suicide.

            That was the toughest bit to swallow.

            He was so low, so broken and hurt, that he truly believed it was better to die.

            So… _alone…_

            That part felt like a stab in the chest to me. He had been alone. And it was my fault.

            After mom died, he leaned mostly on me. After I left, he probably turned to Gaster. And when he died…

            There was no one left. He didn’t think anyone would _care…_

            I started sobbing again, whispering apologies to someone who would never hear them. It was my fault. It was my fault that dad was-

            “I’m so sorry, Fuku,” said Asha quietly, breaking me out of my thoughts. “I got you to leave, I told you not to go visit him, I…” She sniffled, tears dripping onto my shirt. It stung faintly. “This is all my fault…”

            We were there for hours, doing nothing but crying and trying faintly to comfort each other. It… didn’t really work. It didn’t feel like anything could be fixed, like anything could get better…

            Then again, that’s how it felt after we lost Mom.

            And now, here it is again, back to haunt me, to keep me down.

            But, I guess, life must go on, right?

 

            My flame was getting dim, so Asha got up to get me some food. The last thing she wanted was to lose me, too.

            We got ready, and went back to Snowdin. Arrangements were already being made for the funeral. When the time came, they brought me a jar of the dust. There was hardly any… they’d salvaged what little they could from the water, and what _was_ in the jar just looked like sludge.

            I didn’t know where to put it. After all, the things that Dad had loved the most were his restaurant, Gaster, Mom and I… and only two were left.

            “I think…” I whispered as I held the jar, “I think I’ll keep the jar in his restaurant. He was so proud of the place…” The monsters nodded. The quiet ceremony took place, and soon it was just Asha and I, standing in front of Grillby’s.

            “Do you want to move in here?” Asha asked quietly.

            “I don’t know…” I replied. “Dad loved this place, and it has so many memories of him now… I don’t know if I really want to see everything, but… he wouldn’t want to lose this place. It’s the least we can do to keep it running.” Asha nodded in agreement.

            We walked inside. It was too cold, too quiet, too empty, but…

            It was home now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, how was it? it's only my second time writing big angst, so please leave feedback! thanks!


End file.
